Phase 01
First 3 Months: Building a Foundation of Friendship
Establish relational safety, compatibility, and shared values early — before the relationship deepens.
Ten Phases™ · Marriage Coaching
Your Marriage Has a Phase.
Most Couples Never Find Theirs.
Every marriage moves through 10 distinct phases — from Dating to Longevity. We'll help you identify exactly where you are, what work this phase requires, and what it takes to move forward. Together.
500+ Couples Served
20+ Years Experience
Faith-Based
All Phases
The Framework
Every Marriage Has a Job to Do. Here Are the 10.
40–45% of first marriages end in divorce. 60% of second marriages. 73% of third. The pattern isn't bad people — it's the absence of stage-specific support. The work of newlyweds is different from the work of couples in their tenth year. We built a system around that reality.
"Marriage is not a destination — it's a vessel. A covenant ship that must be continually strengthened and steered together through calm and storms."
Built from 18 years of lived marriage experience and 30+ combined years in pastoral ministry and coaching. Every phase follows: What it Means → Why it Matters → How to Build It.
Phase 02
3–6 Months: Deepening Understanding & Alignment
Explore personal history, emotional health, and relational compatibility at a level most couples skip.
Phase 03
6–12 Months: Preparing for Intentional Commitment
Evaluate long-term compatibility and assess honest readiness for engagement — not just the feeling.
Phase 04
Engagement: Pre-Marital Equipping
Strengthen the foundation, build real marriage skills, and prepare for shared life — not just the wedding.
Phase 05
Year 1 of Marriage: Laying the First Stones
Navigate early challenges and establish the rhythms that will carry you for decades as a new household.
Phase 06
Years 1–3: Strengthening the Core
Cement the habits, deepen intimacy, and build the resilience that holds through hard seasons.
Phase 07
Years 3–5: Expansion & Adaptation
Adapt together through life changes, career shifts, or a growing family without losing the partnership.
Phase 08
Years 5–10: Mastering Partnership
Refuse complacency. Prepare for what's next. Great marriages are built in the middle years, not around them.
Phase 09
Years 10–20: Legacy Building
Maximize stability, impact, and legacy during the prime years — the ones most couples take for granted.
Phase 10
20+ Years: Thriving in Seasoned Love
Deepen companionship, embrace new seasons, and leave a godly legacy that outlasts you both.
Phase Assessment
Find Your Phase
in 3 Questions.
Honest answers, real direction. Takes two minutes.
Where are you right now?
Pick the one that fits closest.
What's your biggest challenge right now?
The thing that comes up most.
What would a win look like for you?
Think six months from now.
What We Offer
Every Phase Deserves
Its Own Approach.
$45 / session
Premarital Coaching
The best investment before you say I do. We'll give you tools, frameworks, and real conversations that most couples skip — and spend years wishing they hadn't.
Book Premarital →$45 / session
Marriage Coaching
Ongoing sessions for couples who want to do the work — build communication, rebuild connection, or go deeper into what's already good. We meet you where you are.
Book Marriage Coaching →$1,297
Marriage Intensive
One or two days. Full reset. For couples in a critical season who need more than weekly sessions can give — concentrated, focused, and designed to move things that won't budge.
Register for an Intensive →$300 – $400
Wedding Officiating
A ceremony that means something. Theo has officiated hundreds of weddings — each one personal, each one intentional. Not a script. A story.
Inquire About Officiating →Marriage Courses — self-paced, digital, on your own time — are coming soon. Drop your email below to be notified first.
Free Resource
Get the '10 Covenant Questions' Guide — Free
The same 10 questions Theo and Patrice use in every premarital session. Direct. Clarifying. Sometimes uncomfortable. Always worth it.
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Follow @10PhasesToForever for daily marriage content →Already Married?
In your first year? We built a second free guide just for you — 5 Conversations Every Newlywed Should Have.
Get the Year-1 Conversations Guide →What Couples Say
Words From People
Who Did the Work.
Theo & Patrice didn't just prepare us for a wedding. They prepared us for a marriage. Two years in and we still use the framework they gave us.
Marcus & Kezia
Ten Phases™ · Premarital Coaching
We came in thinking we had communication problems. Turns out we were in the Restoring phase and had no idea. Naming it changed everything.
Name withheld by request
Ten Phases™ · Marriage Coaching
Our intensive was one of the hardest — and most important — weekends of our lives. We came out different. Better. Together.
Marriage Intensive Clients
Ten Phases™ · Marriage Intensive
TEDx Talk
Watch Pastor Theo on the
TEDx Stage.
Faith, marriage, and the courage to build something that lasts.
Pastor Theo Schaffer · TEDx Talk · Faith, Marriage & The Courage to Build
Questions
Here's What
People Ask First.
If something else is on your mind, just reach out. We'd rather talk than leave you guessing.
We don't diagnose or treat. We coach. The difference: therapy looks at what happened, coaching looks at what's possible. We use frameworks, not just conversations. You'll leave every session with something concrete — a tool, a framework, a next step. Not just a processed feeling.
No. Some of our best work is with couples who are doing well and want to go deeper — premarital, thriving, building phases. You don't need a crisis to invest in your marriage. You need a reason to believe it's worth investing in. That's enough.
It depends on your phase and your goals. Premarital clients typically do 4–8 sessions. Ongoing coaching is usually 3–6 months. Intensives are 1–2 days. We'll tell you what we recommend after your first conversation — and we won't string you along past what the work requires.
Our work is informed by faith. It's not required of you. Couples of all backgrounds have worked with us. The framework holds regardless of where you stand spiritually. What matters most is that you're both willing to show up and do the work. We take it from there.
Book a free 30-minute consultation. We'll learn where you are, confirm the right service, and get a session on the calendar. No pressure, no pitch — just a real conversation to figure out if we're the right fit for your season.
Ready to Begin
Your Marriage Deserves More
Than Survival Mode.
Pick your next step below. Every path leads to a conversation.